Baby's Cleaning Service

Laura's Post:

Bliss is a hot shower...alone...

Until you realize the suspiciously quiet toddler is scrubbing the carpet with the toilet brush.

Physiognomy

Thalia points to my nose, touches it, then declares, "Nose." 

"Yes! Nose!" I say.
She's never done that before. So cute. 

Then she pokes me in the eye and says, "Eyez!"

"Ow! Yes, eyes!"
It's kind of weird to hear her articulate her thoughts suddenly, and it's so adorable. I shouldn't be surprised. Sophia started speaking at about 18 months, too.

"Eyez!" she says while touching her ear.

"Ears!" I say. 

She self-corrects by poking me in the eye again. "Eyez!" 

"Ow! Yes, eyes, ears, nose, mouth!" I say while touching each part of her head to match the terms.

She touches my mouth and says, "Mouth!" with perfect diction.

"Yes, mouth! Wow. Mommy has been doing a good job teaching you, honey!"...

I'd forgotten how great it is to witness a child's first words come into being.

Nagoo Love

Me: I love you.
Thalia: Nagoo.
Me: Haha. I love you.
Thalia: Akatee.
Me: I love you.
Thalia: Dadoobway...

Toddlers have many ways to say I love you!

Black and Blue

"HELP!" Sophia shouts. 

Laura rushes into the dining room to see what the emergency is. 

Thalia is drawing on the table with a black Sharpie. Again.

If you don't know where Thalia is, just assume that she is illicitly devaluing our personal property somewhere. She has become obsessed with drawing on our walls, furniture, clothes, toys, herself...and, of course, on me. 

Laura asked me the other day if I had sat on a blue marker.

"Why? Is my butt blue?"

Sure enough, my pants, underpants, and backside were soaked in dark blue ink. I rushed over to my La-Z-Boy chair to confirm that the seat cushion was heavily stained blue: I had been sitting on an exposed blue marker jutting out from between the seat cushions, and I had been inadvertently rubbing it about throughout the day...

I can't prove that she did it, but she, you, and I all know that she definitely did it!

Thalia and Teddy

Laura became nervous as she noticed that Thalia had been too quiet for too long:
"Thalia, where are you? What are you doing?"
She found her in the bathroom quietly yet busily giving her Teddy Bear a bath.
"Sooo cute!..."

Too bad it was in the toilet...

Heavy Breather

Laura's Post:

So Thalia just called me at work.
She has figured out the landline.
If you get a heavy breather on the phone (she has a cold),
start singing "Twinkle Twinkle" first before freaking out.
Chances are it's this one...

Silver Spoons

When I came home from work today, Laura mentioned that I should wash the silverware before using it:
"Thalia was in the drawer today licking all the spoons, and I've been too busy to take care of it..."

Ready for Doggy Tricks or Treats

Sophia and I have been reading The Little House on the Prairie series, so now she wants a Laura Ingalls costume for Trick or Treating. She asked if Thalia could be her dog, Jack.

Footstools and Furtive Glances

When my one-year-old walks by carrying a footstool half her size on her way to the kitchen for no apparent reason, and she flashes a "nothing to see here" sidelong glance my way,
I stop what I'm doing and follow, without hesitation.
No good ever comes of footstools and furtive toddler glances...

15 Month Vocabulary

Here are Thalia's words at 15 months old: Mama, Dada, Hi, Up, Out, and Agua.
She loves her daddy, but often cries "I want Mama!" when Daddy disappoints her (all too often).
She also does a lot of shaking her head no to our questions. 
Most of the time she means yes...

Twinkle in my Eye

I got out of bed early on a Saturday morning with my one-year-old so Laura could sleep in. Sure, I'd rather be sleeping in, but there's something special about watching my toddler busily moving about the living room playing with her toys while singing "Dada, Dada" quietly to herself to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" that makes me delighted to be alive...

The Announcement

Thalia Kisses

When holding Thalia, don't ask for a kiss, then close your eyes, and pucker your lips.
She's a headbutter! Right on the nose.... Then she laughs and does it again! Arghhh!...

The Hulk Baby

S: Daddy! Quick! Come here! It's an emergency!
Me: Coming!
S: No, don't come! It's not an emergency! Don't come!
Me: I'm coming!...What happened?
S: Oh, Thalia just tore the cabinet door off. She's not doing it anymore...
(I explained to Sophia that her instinct to call me when The Hulk baby makes an appearance is always the correct response.)

Wake Up, Big Sister!

Baby Thalia is up early.
Baby Thalia is bored.
Baby Thalia wants to play with big sister Sophia.
Baby Thalia climbs into big sister Sophia's bed.

Big sister Sophia just wants to be left alone to sleep in this morning.

Baby Thalia finds a bedside glass of water and pours it on big sister Sophia's blankets.
Big sister Sophia is up!
Baby Thalia is so happy!
Big sister Sophia is really, really mad!

Sleepy Daddy comes in to see what all the yelling is about.
Sleepy Daddy is trying not to laugh at the situation.

Sleepy Daddy and Baby Thalia go to the kitchen together to make toast and coffee so big sister Sophia can dry off and be in a better mood...

Whack Attack!

Getting ready to leave Bryant Park Beach:

I knock sand off of my frisbee by hitting it against the edge of an aluminum picnic table. Whack, whack, whack!

I knock sand from my sandy sandals against the picnic table, too. 
Whack, whack, whack!

Whack, whack, whack!
"Oh, no. Who's doing that?"

I look down to see baby Thalia mimicking me by whacking a cell phone against the table...

In the Toilet

Laura's Post:

2:09 PM: I look up from my clinic reports: both sisters are playing happily together with the Fisher-Price kitchen. Thalia takes a break to push the stroller contentedly around the living room.

2:10 PM: My next sentence is interrupted by Mark's voice from the bathroom: "Why is Thalia playing in the toilet? Sophia, why are you naked?"

Things do indeed fall apart so quickly. Now I'm laughing too hard to write about comprehension strategies.

The Fashion Show

I was taking a slow walk across a college campus this morning with Thalia toddling at my side when a lady suddenly shouted out loudly to us from a distant picnic table.
"Hey! You two are the cutest thing that I have seen all day! Your little girl in a white dress, matching her daddy in a white shirt. Thanks for that!"
"You're welcome!"
(That's right. The world is our fashion runway, and we look this good to please ; )

The Haunted Mansion

Grocery shopping through Meijer with an adorable one-year-old in the cart seat can be a strange experience. Apparently, adults young and old, far and near, can't help themselves but engage with Thalia as I'm walking up and down the aisles. I actually jumped a couple of times when folks leaned in suddenly to get a closer look at my baby. To be honest, it creeped me out a little. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert who prefers anonymity when I'm squeezing the produce. Well, after several close encounters in a row today, I decided that the experience is not unlike walking through Disney's The Haunted Mansion, with delirious spirits materializing out of nowhere at every turn cooing ghostly "ooohhhs" and "aaawwws" with exaggerated grins and pointy, probing fingers....Most of these Meijer hauntings are actually very sweet, but I still can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be exposing my child to this kind of unnatural attention...

Child Proof Trash

Laura: Have you seen the sealant tape we just bought?

We hear suspicious noises in the kitchen.

Me: No, but I think Thalia just threw it away.
Sophia: Yes, she did!

So now I'll need to child proof the trash cans after digging through them first for valuable items...Sigh...

The Cost of Parenting

As I was paying bills at my computer, I caught sight of Thalia sticking an elastic hair tie into her mouth.

"Thalia! Give that to Daddy. Here, honey, give that to Daddy!"

At first, she looked disgruntled about being caught, but she toddled over with a smile a few seconds later and handed it over.

"Thank you, Thalia, for giving it to Daddy! Good job!"

I turned in my chair and tossed the tie into the wastebasket. When I turned back around, she was tottering off with my wallet in her hand. She had swiped it right off my lap, that stinker!

Baby Weight

Thalia and I went shopping. Diapers were on my grocery list, but I forgot that they're purchased by the baby's weight, not by age. So straight to the veggies section to stick my baby on the produce scale, when no one's looking, of course. I suppose that'll give the security camera guy something to chuckle about.

Bubble Bath

Laura's Note to Self:

When baby passes gas in the bath, remove her PROMPTLY, even if the bubbles are cute and funny: what follows is neither.

Reason 1001

Reason 1001 why my child is crying: 
I told her she may not splash her hands in the toilet.

A Brush with Terror

Laura: Watch out! Thalia is coming for you!

I look up from my La-Z-Boy just in time to see Thalia toddling towards me with a toilet brush in her hand! 

Thalia: Dada! Haha! Dada!...

What sudden tyranny is this?

Me: Stop her, please! Stop her!

 I cringe back into my chair with both arms out in a defensive position to protect me from her attack...Oh, the terror! the torture! When will it end? Make it stop!

Laura swoops in at the last possible moment to rescue me from my own child.

Not cool, Thalia. Not cool.

Baby Hazards

My wife recounted to me all of the hazards that she saved Thalia from today:
Laura: My goal is to keep her alive until she's two!
Sophia: (graciously) No, don't kill the baby.

Our toddling baby is fine. It's us parents I'm worried about...

The Fortress of Solitude, a.k.a. Daddy Bear Cage

Thalia wouldn't go into her playpen tonight without a big fuss.

This way I get my work done, and she's happy playing around the perimeter.

It's genius!

Are You My Princess!