Baby Weight

Thalia and I went shopping. Diapers were on my grocery list, but I forgot that they're purchased by the baby's weight, not by age. So straight to the veggies section to stick my baby on the produce scale, when no one's looking, of course. I suppose that'll give the security camera guy something to chuckle about.

Bubble Bath

Laura's Note to Self:

When baby passes gas in the bath, remove her PROMPTLY, even if the bubbles are cute and funny: what follows is neither.

Reason 1001

Reason 1001 why my child is crying: 
I told her she may not splash her hands in the toilet.

A Brush with Terror

Laura: Watch out! Thalia is coming for you!

I look up from my La-Z-Boy just in time to see Thalia toddling towards me with a toilet brush in her hand! 

Thalia: Dada! Haha! Dada!...

What sudden tyranny is this?

Me: Stop her, please! Stop her!

 I cringe back into my chair with both arms out in a defensive position to protect me from her attack...Oh, the terror! the torture! When will it end? Make it stop!

Laura swoops in at the last possible moment to rescue me from my own child.

Not cool, Thalia. Not cool.