Reason 1001

Reason 1001 why my child is crying: 
I told her she may not splash her hands in the toilet.

A Brush with Terror

Laura: Watch out! Thalia is coming for you!

I look up from my La-Z-Boy just in time to see Thalia toddling towards me with a toilet brush in her hand! 

Thalia: Dada! Haha! Dada!...

What sudden tyranny is this?

Me: Stop her, please! Stop her!

 I cringe back into my chair with both arms out in a defensive position to protect me from her attack...Oh, the terror! the torture! When will it end? Make it stop!

Laura swoops in at the last possible moment to rescue me from my own child.

Not cool, Thalia. Not cool.

Baby Hazards

My wife recounted to me all of the hazards that she saved Thalia from today:
Laura: My goal is to keep her alive until she's two!
Sophia: (graciously) No, don't kill the baby.

Our toddling baby is fine. It's us parents I'm worried about...

The Fortress of Solitude, a.k.a. Daddy Bear Cage

Thalia wouldn't go into her playpen tonight without a big fuss.

This way I get my work done, and she's happy playing around the perimeter.

It's genius!

Are You My Princess!

Thalia's Pet Daddy

A Second Opinion

Me: Thalia, I think we'll skip bath this morning.
Thalia: (projectile vomits)
(Opinion duly noted. Nice timing, kiddo. This one is going to be a comedian.)

--LR