Daughty Date

Me: Do you want to go on a daddy-daughter date with me?
Thalia: A daddy-daughter date?
Me: Yes. Just you and me.
Thalia: Yes! Mommy, I get to go on a daughty date with Daddy!
Laura: A daughty date? Is that daughter plus naughty!
Me: I didn't say that, haha!...


P.S. We went to the germ tree at the Rivertown Mall, rode the the carousel at the food court, went up and down escalators more than necessary, then got groceries at Aldi's. My 3-year-old rated our daughty date a success! No sugar required : )

Winners & Losers

Thalia: I won, Sophia. You lost.
Sophia: That's not a nice thing to say to people, Thalia. You shouldn't brag about winning and other people losing. Would you like it if I said that to you, I won, you lost, over and over again? I don't think so.
Thalia: (pause) Yeah. But I winned.
Sophia: (big sister sigh)

Sugar and Spice!

When Mommy is getting ready to go out:
Thalia: Are we going to have a really nice time tonight, Daddy?
Me: I prefer to have a nice time rather than the alternative.
Thalia: I mean are you going to play games with us and give us nice treats?
Me: Yes....


The moment Mommy has left:
Thalia: When are you going to give us the naughty treats?
Me: Naughty treats? I thought you were asking for nice treats earlier.
Thalia: No! I want to eat naughty treats, not nice treats! Like ice cream and chocolate and cookies...

(So "sugar and spice" but whatever happened to "everything nice"?...)

A Teacher's Dilemma

Thalia: Freya is being mean to me!
Me: What did she do?
Thalia: She won't do what I say!
Me: What are you saying to her?
Thalia: I'm her teacher, and I have sooo many things to teach her! But she won't listen!...
(I feel your pain, girl.)

Ride'em Cowgirl!

My girls got to ride Sandy the Horse at Meijer this morning:

Me: Yeeeeha! Ride'em cowgirl!

Thalia: No, Daddy! Not cowgirl! Say horsegirl because it's a horse!

I explain that a cowgirl's job is to chase cows while she's riding the horse...

Thalia shouts out, "Yeeeha! Ride'em horsegirl!"...

Because she prefers to chase horses.

Engaged

I realized that I had forgotten my phone 

So instead of catching up on social media 

I got to engage with my 3-year-old 

In the play area of the public library 

Where she served me up a sandwich 

And some lemonade in a doll cup 

While I lounged in a chair 

And suppressed the urge 

To feel superior 

To all the other parents 

Who happened to remember their phones...

Not Appropriate

Laura: When are you leaving for work?
Me: A.S.A.P.
Thalia: Daddy! You said pee! That's not appropriate.
Me: What? Oh, I said A.S.A.P. as in "as soon as possible."
Thalia: (shaking her head slowly in disappointment at her daddy's potty mouth) You said pee...

(I can't wait to turn the tables on her the next time she sings the alphabet song.)

Daylight Savings Morning

Early this first Daylight Savings morning, Sophia sidles up to me and whispers...

Sophia: Daddy, I'm feeling really cranky this morning. Can I have some chocolate from my basket? Mommy usually lets me have chocolate on the way to school in the mornings. It helps me to wake up better. Can I?
Me: Yes.
Sophia: Thank you, Daddy!
Thalia: Daddy, I'm feeling cranky too...

(I suppose I shouldn't let them have chocolate for breakfast first thing, but watching Sophia tenderly share a Hershey's Chocolate Bar with her 3-year-old sister is the sweetest thing I've seen all day ; )

Scary Monsters

After goodnight prayers...
Me: Sweet dreams, honey. What do you want to dream about tonight?
Thalia: Monsters.
Me: Monsters?
Thalia: Yes.
Me: Don't you want to have sweet dreams?
Thalia: Yes, with scary monsters.
Me: Scary?
Thalia: Yes, and cuddly so I can cuddle with them.
Me: So scary, cuddly, fuzzy, friendly monsters, like in Sesame Street?
Thalia: Yes, and ballet...
(Whatever keeps her in her own bed all night long instead of ours sounds sweet to me)

Thalia's Health Plan

1) Treadmill
2) Ice cream
(Sign me up!)

Some Healthy Self-esteem

At bedtime:
Me: Thalia, I think you're wonderful.
Thali: Yes, I am beautiful.
Me: Haha! I said wonderful, not beautiful! But you're right. You're both wonderful and beautiful!
Thalia: Yes, I am wonderful and beautiful...

The Y?

Me: I would love to visit Hawaii. It's a beautiful paradise!
Thalia: The Y?
Me: The Y?
Sophia: No, Thalia. Hawaii. It's a beautiful country in the United States!
Thalia: The Y?...

Big Bug Bite

Me: I have a big bug bite on my back that itches terribly! Maybe it's a spider bite.
Thalia: Or a bunny bite.
Me: Maybe.

Toast with Peanut Butter

Me: Here's your toast with peanut butter. I cut it up for you. Just take one piece at a time. If you finish it, you can eat another piece. OK?
Thalia: Is there a sign that says I can't  take two?
Me: Uhh, no.
Thalia: OK.

Eating Carrots Helps You To See In The Dark

Laura: Eating carrots helps you to see in the dark!
Thalia: What?
Laura: Eating carrots helps you to see in the dark!
Thalia: What?
Me: Which vegetable helps with hearing?...

The Owl

My brother loaned us their VTech Owl baby cam so we could check in with our napping kids. Unfortunately, Thalia freaked out pretty badly when Laura accessed the intercom feature to tell her to stay in bed. Freaked out! She thinks it's alive and now she has since been scared to be in the same room with it. I can't say I blame her. It has now been sitting unused on my lampstand next to my bed, facing the wall, unplugged...

No Applesauce

Laura: Eat your applesauce.
Thalia: No. I'll just eat naughty food at church...

Pillow Fight

Thalia: The pillow hurts my feelings.
Laura: Do you mean it's uncomfortable?
Thalia: Yes.

Learning Spanish

A roofing team has been hard at work at our place. Thalia asked us, "Are they learning to speak Spanish?" 😊

Lollipop Thief

Thalia: Daddy! Somebody took my lollipop!
Me: Where did you put it?
Thalia: Somebody took it right out of my hand!
Me: Honey, you're holding it.
Thalia: Oh. (lick, lick)

She had been so intensively focused on eating the delicious candy in her right hand that she forgot about the lollipop in her left hand...

The Neighborhood Watch

Thalia wanders over to the neighbor's house, stands in front of their porch window, and watches TV for a bit while I'm unpacking the car.

Me: Thalia, don't stand in front of their window!...
Laura: Where's Thalia?
Me: She's being a peeping, uh...what's the feminine for Tom?
Laura: Thalia.
Me: Haha!

God Love

Me: I love you.
Thalia: I love you, too. And I love Freya.
Me: Aww. That's sweet. Do you love Sophia, too?
Thalia: Yes. I love her. But I don't love her much. I just love her.
Me: You just love her?
Thalia: Yes. I don't love her much. I love her in God...Why are you laughing?...

Haha! That was the sweetest passive-aggressive sibling-love statement from a two-year-old I've ever heard... 

Getting Sophia's Attention

Sophia was deep into her book on our family road trip today. Thalia was nearly in tears trying to get her attention:

Thalia: Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia!...Why won't she hear me?
Laura: Sophia, Thalia is trying to talk to you.
Me: No, let her be. I'm counting how many times Thalia has to call her name to get her attention.
Thalia: Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia!
Sophia: What, Thalia! 
Me: 15 times!
Thalia: I'm trying to talk to you, Phia!
Sophia: I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. I'm reading. What do you want?
Thalia: Ummm....Is it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday?...

It's Saturday.

Parenting is Easy

Thalia: (calling out from her bedroom at bedtime) Daddy!
Me: What?
Thalia: I knocked my back!
Me: (not sure what that means) Don't do that!
Thalia: Okay!

About 90% of what I say to my kids is "Don't do that!" So far, so good. #parentingiseasy

The Royal Wedding

Thalia and I were watching the royal wedding together this morning. She sat in rapt attention next to me admiring the dazzling pomp and ceremony with fancy people in fancy hats, an amazing gospel choir singing "Stand By Me," and the handsome Prince Harry barely holding it together as he gazed into the lovely eyes of his "American Princess" Meghan Markle. So beautiful, so enchanting! It's no wonder there were tears in my eyes (a side effect of watching my three girls playing princess every day, I'm sure). My favorite moment was when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex stepped outside of the chapel and kissed each other for the first time in front of their adoring public and my two-year-old muttered quietly under her breath, "Yuck." Fairytale wedding over, haha.

Where's Thalia?

Laura: Where's Thalia? Is she in the bathroom?
Me: I don't know. I'll check. (I knock on the bathroom door.) Thalia, are you in the bathroom?
Thalia: (from her bedroom) I don't know. I'll check. (She opens her bedroom door, walks past me, opens the bathroom door to peek in.) No, I'm not in there. (Then she turns to me with an impish grin) But I just saw a monster in there....

Umm, it's official. I've passed on my weirdo genes to this kid.

The Cottage

Laura and Sophia left church right away to go to a birthday party, so the little ones and I were fending for ourselves today.

Thalia: Daddy, are we going to a restaurant? Mommy said you were taking me and Freya to a restaurant to eat because they're going to a birthday party.
Me: Really? A restaurant? Mommy told you that?
Thalia: Yes. We are going to a restaurant...

I thought about calling Laura to verify the message but I instead chose to believe that my two-year-old wouldn't make up an elaborate bold-faced lie to me, her loving father, in church on a Sunday.

We went to The Cottage restaurant for a tasty, filling brunch that we all enjoyed very much, then we returned home for a late nap, which never happened because Thalia was buzzed on chocolate milk, pancakes, and maple syrup.

When Laura came home, she confirmed what I had suspected:

Laura: I didn't say anything about a restaurant.
Me: Thalia, Mommy never told you I was taking you to a restaurant!
Laura: I said she was going home with you for a nap!
Thalia: Oh. Hmm....

My two-year-old is a con artist!

Weirdos

"Weird" is Thalia's new word that she's been testing out today:

Thalia: Sophia, you have weird!
Sophia: No, that's not how you say it.
Thalia: You have weird!
Sophia: That doesn't even make sense! You have to say "You're weird" not "You have weird!"
Thalia: You're weird!
Sophia: Don't say I'm weird! That's not nice to say to people!
Thalia: OK...Daddy, you're weird!
Me: Why, yes, I am!

Say Equivocan

Thalia hands me a Spanish/English bilingual early reader book for bedtime reading tonight: Big Dog and Little Dog Making a Mistake.

Me: Perrazo y Perrito se Equivocan.

Thalia: Equivocan.

Me: No, it's "se equivocan."

Thalia: Equivocan.

Me: Hahahaha...

Toddler Bed

Thalia's toddler bed is a success. Glad she's not in a bunk bed.

The real problem is Freya repeatedly crawling into the bedroom to bounce on Thalia's bed while she's sleeping. It's the cutest thing to hear a 10 month-old baby giggling to herself as she bounces her sister off the bed. Thalia doesn't find it funny...

Bad Dream!

My daughter with tears wakes me up at 6:00 a.m. this morning:

Thalia: Daddy, I had a bad dream!
Me: You had a bad dream?
Thalia: I had a bad dream!
Me: What did you dream?
Thalia: All the cookies were gone!...

No more Girl Scout cookies in the house? Perish the thought! That is a bad dream...

Da Moon!

Laura's Post:

Thalia (excited as always to see the moon in the afternoon sky):
Dere's da moon! Is it a boy or a girl?
Me: It's a rock.
Thalia: (surprised) Oh! In the rocket ship space?
Me: Um. Exactly.

I guess "celestial body" would have been a more accurate answer. But bodies have...hum.

Open Recipe

Thalia loves to wrestle with me when I'm sitting on the couch. If she gets trapped in my leg hold and can't escape, all she has to do is say:

"Open recipe!"
"What? No, it's sesame. Open sesame."
"Open sesame!"

I release her.

"Close recipe!"...

Grandpa Love!

I whisper to Thalia, "I love you!"
She shyly giggles then whispers back, "I love Grandpa!"

Haha. I love your grandpa, too, kid...

Little Scavenger

We have to be thorough about cleaning the carpet after meals or else Baby Freya turns into a little scavenger:

Me: Thalia, please pick up any food on the floor under the table before the baby finds it and eats it.
Thalia: There isn't any food under the table.
Me: Good. Check to see if the baby is eating anything.
Thalia: She's eating a person.

Poopy Nose

Laura's Post:

Thalia's been getting over a runny nose, but she thinks that snot is called poop. I had to correct her. Now I'm rethinking all of our earlier conversations...